Saturday, July 23, 2016

The 2016 Republican Convention: Several Instances of Mass Hysteria



Mass hysteria happens when there is a group of people who fall into a collective delusion. There have been several cases of mass hysteria throughout history, the most famous of which are the witch-hunts, which lasted more than 200 years. Countless innocent women were executed.

Here is a list of fictitious epidemics that are not such a far cry from what is really happening to the insane crowd that populates the Convention Hall in Cleveland.

The Phantom Pregnancy Panic

An extremely rare form of mass hysteria gripped the attendees of the 2016 Republican National Convention, when 34 year-old Ivanka Trump announced that she was expecting a baby. This is, of course, false. Whatever the case, Ivanka’s incredibly convincing personality was enough to trigger a pregnancy panic. By the third day of the Convention, numerous female attendees said that they too were pregnant and caused a ruckus in the Convention hall. Only the constant reassurance by their supreme leader, Donald Trump, that they were never pregnant in the first place did the women finally calm down.


The Vanishing Genitalia Epidemic

Although their nominee, Donald Trump, had guaranteed them that no matter what the size of his hands, ‘I guarantee you, there’s no problem down there’, an episode of vanishing genitalia caused widespread fear amongst the attendees. These fears were usually triggered by incidental body contact with a Democrat in a public place, after which the “victim” would feel strange scrotum sensations and grab their genitals to confirm that they were still there.

Then they would confront the Democrat as a crowd would gather, accusing them of being a genital thief, before stripping naked to convince bystanders that their penis was really missing.

Once the alarm had been raised, many victims claimed that the penis had been returned, but although the penis was now back, it was shrunken and so probably a 'wrong' one or just the ghost of a penis. The Democrat was then threatened or beaten until the penis had been “fully restored”.


The Cuyahoga River Epidemic

During the 2006 Republican Convention, held in Cleveland Ohio, attendees began reporting that the water from the nearby Cuyahoga River, one of the most polluted rivers in the country, had turned potable. The claim caused many present at the Convention to storm out and drink the water and save it in plastic bottles for later consumption.


The RNC Dancing Mania

The RNC Dancing Mania soon got ahold of the Convention Hall as a result of mass hysteria, when large numbers of people spontaneously started dancing for days without rest. Most of the people ended up dying due to heart attacks, strokes, or exhaustion. To this day the cause of the mass hysteria is unknown. leave comment here